Friday, January 22, 2010

release the kraken

i think that the new clash of the titans starring the dude from avatar and liam neeson looks really good. i also think liam neeson looks particularly cool in the trailer when he says "release the kraken." i think that's a phrase that i might have to adopt into my everyday vernacular. like, when they leave the sauce on your snack wrap at mcdonalds. "release the kraken."

there are a lot of lines from movies that i use all the time, i think i probably use more phrases from office space than from any other movie though. i like to say "i'm going to go ahead and ___" a lot. i also like to say "what do you DO?" which can refer to a lot of different people. there are a lot of people out there who have jobs where they do nothing. like, people who work at the post office, for example. 1 other phrase i use a lot is from the worst movie ever LXG aka the league of extraordinary gentlemen starring a 90 year old sean connery. there were many many good lines from that movie but i really have adopted the "i'm waiting to be impressed.." and it's useful in a lot of situations.

anyway, speaking of liam neeson, we did watch "taken" on netflix the other day mostly just because everything else in our queue is on a "very long wait." it was actually good, i recommend it! it's about this CIA special agent guy who is retired (liam neeson) and these freaks kidnap his daughter in france. he has to go get her and murder approximately 45 people in the process. my favorite part was when he was on the phone to the kidnapper briefly. he says something like "i don't have any $ and if you release her now i won't pursue you. BUT if you keep her, what i do have is a PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS AND I WILL HUNT YOUR ASS FOREVER UNTIL I FIND will not live etc etc" i don't think a lot of people could pull the role off, maybe denzel and russel crowe. anyway, it was good or at least i thought it was watchable.

ps. 1 last thing i'd like to give a shout out to leo who will be on the haiti telethon tonight on nbc and who has already donated 1 million to help out. he looked amazing in HD at the golden globes presenting to martin scorsese. i can't help but think all the other actors must be jealous since scorsese keeps casting him because he is clearly superior to all others. i think gisele really missed her shot there.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

US weekly needs to stop

US weekly really needs to stop pitting toddlers against eachother. i'm so sick of in the "who wore it best" section seeing violet affleck & suri cruise wearing the same juicy cardigan and apparently 57% thought violet wore it best. you know what, that is ridiculous. i've seen it a couple of times before but over half their page this issue is kids and i think it's out of control. let's give them a complex at age 3 about who looks best.

in other news, i'm going to retire the word "gay" from my blog because it's apparently "offensive" so i'm trying to find an appropriate word to describe the new bachelor "on the wings of love." lame is offensive to cripples, right, and "dumb" or "stupid" really just doesn't do it justice. fuck. i do know a good word for the bachelor tho--d-bag, for sure.

so we saw dance flick the other night. i don't really think i need to even say anything about that movie that you already couldn't have guessed.

we are going to elmo live on friday and we have ROW 1 SEAT 1 so that should be a good time.

1 other thing i wanted to mention is that i went to the mall of america last nite and i usually only go there at 10 AM so it was weird to be there at nite but anyway i am sick of the people at the carts who are selling crap like lotion or irons to straighten your hair or hair extensions...yelling at you as you walk by. um, excuse me but i thought this was minnesota not fucking tijuana. WTF is up with those people and why when you say "no thank you" do they feel the need to continue on? i guess they don't know the difference between stupid and smart people so they just treat everyone the same but, like, seriously? i hate those carts. also i prefer the mall in the AM and all the moms with their bugaboos as opposed to the creepy teenagers there at night..ick.

ps. i can't believe what NBC is doing to conan, that's so fucked up.

Monday, January 11, 2010

movies & tv 2

so i know i have been MIA lately, i have just been so lazy i haven't been able to write anything. not that there hasn't been plenty to write about tho. between kate gosselin's new hair extensions and jersey shore, holy crap our country is really going down the tubes.

anyway..i'll start with xmas break. basically i just stuffed my face over xmas which was a huge mistake and saw shitloads of movies. we saw avatar which was really good, and sherlock holmes which was good and up in the air which was ok. i was so pumped to see the new leo trailers tho, especially for shutter island. god, it's going to be so good! and as my husband so astutely pointed out, we'll just wait until it comes out and then watch..all the critics will once again be like "oh, i guess leo can actually act." NO SHIT psychos.

then i was alone on new years because i was at my mom's house but my husband had to go home and actually work for a while. anyway i put my daughter to sleep at like 9 and then ended up flipping between ryan seacrest and jersey shore and thinking what the hell is my life coming to that i am watching jersey shore? like, i don't even understand what the fuck is with these people? they are so gross like i don't even get it? is that what people on the east coast are like or what? i don't even really like NY. and especially NJ. i think the only people i know from NJ are madonna and bon jovi right? ick!

in other news i think i saw the worst movie ever last night. do not see that sandra movie all about steve, ever. seriously, don't ever. the only redeeming quality was ken jeong who is so funny especially in the hangover which we saw in the theater but am patiently waiting for on netflix despite the "very long wait." fuck u netflix!

and now we are in the midst of another season of the bachelor..the largest gathering of whores on the planet, this new bachelor is such a tool. i feel like all the girls leave any remaining dignity they might have in the limo, it's so contrived..they all start talking about being his "co-pilot in life" from day 1. really. and there's always the complete psycho who starts like hyperventilating when they get cut..i love that.

also yesterday i was watching the end of the latest R.H.O.C. and vicki and don were renewing their vows in turks and caicos and my husband walks in and watched and said "vicki seems nice?" holy shit, i almost fell of the couch. all i could say was "she is the devil, you have no freaking clue what you are talking about."

the last thing i'm going to say is that i am starting season 2 of gossip girl and yes, it is actually good. so everyone was right and i was wrong and i admit that. i do the elliptical for 45 minutes everyday so i like to have a show that i can watch 1 episode of and this 1 is definitely good for that. i still think the O.C. was better but that's ok, both are good.