Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Monday, April 27, 2009

goodbye jon and kate

i have come to the point where i can no longer watch jon & kate + 8. keep in mind, i will basically watch anything. it's just that after putting in a couple of years with the goslings, they have gotten too boring even for me. i came to this decision recently when i saw that there was an episode devoted to kate making soup. you know, i tolerated it when jon flew to LA to get hairplugs, i watched when cara and mady went to the american girl doll store on their birthday and i even watched when they all flew to hawaii to renew their vows, but kate making soup? come, on. it's so freaking boring i just can't stand to watch them bitch at each other anymore and watch their misbehaved kids who they think are so cute. note to kate: FYI mady is mental, joel is gay, and you have the absolute worst haircut i have ever seen. also quit talking about how you have been so blessed. god didn't do anything, it was fertility treatments you complete moron. and jon, do you have a job? so, anyway goodbye jon and kate, i think it's best we go our separate ways.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

i'm a "celebrity" get me out of here

so there is this new nbc show called "i'm a celebrity...get me out of here." it's like sanjaya from american idol and speidi and all these fake ass celebrities like stephen baldwin and they are going to dump them in costa rica. rod blagojevich was going to do it but then the federal judge in IL was like "no, um, you are facing life in prison and you can't leave the country." i think the premise is that the celebs do challenges and whatever and 1 will win and gets to give some $$ to a charity.

so we rented this movie a while back called the "condemned." it was REALLY weird. like, beyond weird. it was starring a pro wrestler "stone cold" whatever and basically it was all of the baddest ass death row inmates from all over the world and they were sent to this island and they all had to kill eachother and the winner would get off death row. it was broadcast live via the "internet" and people had to pay to see it.

so, that is what i propose for this new show. i think that instead of doing challenges they should just all fight to the death and then the winner gets to live. i think that would be WAY more interesting. i also think vicki from R.H.O.C. should be on it. oh, and also the guy from shamwow! who just got arrested for having a violent confrontation with a prostitute in south beach. i would definitely put my $$ on him.

Friday, April 24, 2009

man pretending to fall off bridge actually falls

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. – Police said a 23-year-old man is in stable condition after he pretended that he was falling off a bridge over the Minnesota River, then actually fell off the bridge. Police got a call just before 5 a.m. Sunday from a 21-year-old man who said his friend fell off the Highway 77 bridge and into a marshy area about 30 feet below.

The caller said he was driving north when his friend, who he said had been drinking, told him to pull into the bridge's emergency lane so he could urinate.

The 23-year-old stood eventually climbed to the ledge of the bridge, then looked at his friend and pretended to fall. "He then in fact fell," reads a press release from the Bloomingt0n Police Department.

Police from Bloomington and Eagan responded, and the Eagan Fire Department used a chair lift to retrieve the man. He was transported to Hennepin County Medical Center where was treated.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

mother of the year and the celebrity apprentice

i just got K a mcdonalds electronic cash register set. she was screaming "nuggets!" and pushing the fries button about a billion times. "Fries fries fries fries." i'm not sure whether or not this is a good toy. maybe when she is 30 and 300 lbs. she can blame me. or maybe it means she will just work at mcdonalds.

so anyway, about the celebrity apprentice. here's the rundown: basically donald trump is his usual jackass self. then there's joan and melissa rivers. i think the biggest surprise to me is that melissa rivers isn't the complete train wreck that i imagined she would be! she's not -that- bad. joan rivers is cool but she is so old and she makes a lot of noise when she walks because she wears a thousand pounds of jewelry which she designs for QVC. then there was some golfer who i don't know who got fired.

also, there was brian mcknight. i don't know any of his songs or anything. he is fine but he got fired. clint black is a total freak. who even listens to him? i don't even know anything he sings. there is a total beeeotch poker player annie something who is terrible. dennis rodman was also awful and he got fired. i couldn't understand him when he spoke. i'm not sure he can speak english. he seemed like really dumb and lazy. not sure how he got 3 championships? also khloe kardashian was on it. talk about stretching the word "celebrity." her sister is barely even a celebrity. lastly there is jesse james who is the best one. i hope he wins, he seems really cool. i think the show will probably go off the air soon.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

my fake fiance

there is a new abc family original movie called "my fake fiance" starring sabrina and joey lawrence. WTH is going on? i actually watched that one with tom arnold and candice cameron a while back just because tom arnold is from iowa. it was bad. i wasn't sure if he was her dad or they were supposed to be dating. anyway, can you even imagine working on the set of "my fake finance" ?? i didn't know joey lawrence still acted. i actually saw a commercial for it and then i got a banner ad for it on yahoo mail. i am their target audience? and they acutally have an advertising budget? i have lots of questions.

Friday, April 17, 2009

mamma mia

so my mom and i are going to NYC in june for a long weekend and staying at the roosevelt hotel. i talked to their concierge about going to a show and she strongly recommended mamma mia. i was like "isn't that like the worst movie ever made?" she said the show is *much* better than the movie. still. so we got tickets for phantom. i hope it's good. i really wanted to see dirty dancing but that's only playing in boston. then, there's the little mermaid but like who wants to waste broadway on that? i hope NYC is fun. i sort of hate NY but i think it's fun to visit.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


so i went to the library for the first time in like 10 years.
holy cow, they have so much cool stuff, i had no idea. i just constantly order stuff off of amazon and i'm sick of it so i decided to check it out. i got K some videos and they have so many children's books. they also have this thing where you can check out passes to local museums and even the zoo! i was amazed. i also couldn't believe that you can check out a 100 items at a time. i asked the librarian how anyone could keep track of 100 items? she said "either very well or very poorly." so, anyway, if you live somewhere normal** you should totally check out your local library!

**normal meaning not santa monica. public buildings in santa monica tend to smell a lot like the L.A. county coroner's office.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

phil spector: guilty!

yes, phil spector got convicted! thank god! he is so ridiculous!!

Monday, April 13, 2009

more duggars and kristen stewart

ok so it was on the news today that those idiot duggar kids who got married are now going to have a kid. that means the duggars are having a grandkid. it's a lot like sarah palin where the kid trygg or however the F you spell it is the same age as the grandkid. wow. they say "we're leaving it up to god as to how many children we will have." you know what? i'm sorry but it's called birth control. did anyone see the movie idiocracy btw? it's fabulous, seriously. you wouldn't think so, but it's great. check it out, it totally explains the duggars. in other news, they are filming the new twilight. um, is it just me or did kristen stewart royally suck in the first one? i mean, she was terrible. they really should have replaced her. at least they did a good job with edward and jacob though. whatever, i will still see it. i only read the first 2 books but they were good. when we were looking for houses in minneapolis we looked at one on "lake edward" and i totally wanted to buy it. it even had that vacuum system in the house where it sucks all the crap out and you do nothing.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

play "system"

so we got a rainbow play system. it is the same brand that sasha and malia got. (why do i keep talking about sasha and malia btw?) anyway, holy crap, they are expensive! better start saving now if you want one. also don't call it a swing set, it's a "play system." it's awesome.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

the j.crew red card

the j.crew red card offers 25% everything in store in april. don't be afraid to call them about it. i didn't get mine so i called to complain and they were *totally* nice and sent me one. also i told them that i don't want the credit card, and it has nothing to do with that. i went and bought the danielle leather flat sandals and got them for 25% off in stores + 25% off from the card. GOOD DEAL! go get the red card!!

pet peeves

1. email sent from my "iphone."
2. octomom: shut up!
3. mark geragos. chris brown, plead guilty you complete jackass.
3. telly monster's obsession with triangles. get over it! your pupils are so small from watching too much tv!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

enough about michelle obama's clothes

for the love of god, enough about michelle obama's clothes already. she wears j.crew, fine, whatever. j.crew is amazing but it's not like she's picking it up at the store..all that stuff sasha and malia wore for the inaguration was like specifically designed for them by j.crew. people are saying m.obama is the next jackie o. please! nothing against m.obama, she is fine, but please let's not get carried away. i'm feeling like she could come out in a barrel at this point and everyone would be like "oh, that looks amazing."

she looks good but what in the hell has she done that would make her a fashion icon? she isn't 98 years old like barbara bush, she doesn't look like laura bush thank god, and she's not ugly like hillary clinton. that's it. let's don't forget that the election night dress she wore was HORRIBLE. so anyway let's not all get carried away. let's give her some time to become a fashion icon.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

38 kids and counting

so what about the duggars? i freaking hate them. has anyone seen this show? seriously, it's the worst, ever. i have seen 2 shows and i just can't watch anymore. i feel like a worse person for having watched, i think part of my soul was sucked away by them.

anyway...i saw the one where they met kirk cameron just because i used to like him. he used to be normal. now he is a douche. apparently in his movie he had this kissing scene or whatever and he had to substitute in his wife in the scene because he can't kiss anyone who is not his wife. WTF.

also i saw "a very duggar wedding" where their oldest son gets married. the girl he marries reminds me a lot of a barnyard animal. she looks like a donkey. all the duggars kind of remind me of barnyard animals. i bet they have IQs of under 95, for sure. the dad makes his money from renting land to cell phone companies for their towers. what?

why is TLC putting this crap on the air? i actually like matt roloff..but TLC seriously needs to take the duggars off the air immediately. it's not cool to have 18 kids..really, it's mentally ill.