Wednesday, December 23, 2009

the new karate kid

so they went ahead and remade my favorite movie of all time. this is going to be the shit! in other news i saw avatar and it was good. before avatar there were a lot of previews though and most of the movies looked like they would suck ass. especially that cameron diaz/tom cruise thing. ick! 1 movie that looked sweet though was robin hood starring russell crowe. you know, my brother said that he is "way too old to play robin hood." you know what though? russell crowe literally throws phones in peoples faces. he is super pimp and i think it will be awesome. merry xmas!

Friday, December 18, 2009


ok what in the hell is going on with the real housewives of OC? it is completely out of control. did u hear that michelle dugar had a 1 pound baby the other day BTW? she is so f-ed up. anyway about the housewives..there are so many issues..

1. first of all, have you noticed at the beginning of the episode that when vicki says "previously on the real housewives" she literally says "prevously." like, she can't even say the word previously. she leaves out an entire fucking syllable. also, p.s. vicki UR not skinny! stop with the short shorts!

2. tamara needs to stop saying that she keeps her friends close and her enemies closer. she is not even close to gretchen, she doesn't even know what the hell she is saying. i swear to god, each of these chicks has an IQ lower than the next one.

3. slade smiley. um, seriously? he is making pond scum jealous. EW!

4. lynn's husband? OMFG! is he a woman?

5. alexis? please stop saying that you don't travel apart from your husband. u sound like you're in a cult. also how long have you been 20 minutes? 5 years, yeah, i know. that's like not that long tho really. real couples end up apart sometimes, that's life you freak.

6. i kind of like simon. he's a total a-hole i mean obviously but i love how he rips vicki and also tamara's loser son who is going to jail. i don't quite get what the "tequila" business is but i still like him. for a control freak.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

bigtime letdowns

1. sarah palin. enough said.

2. the davinci code movie. i couldn't even understand this piece of shit when it came out. all i know is that tom hanks does not look good with long hair.

3. anything by j.d salinger other than the catcher in the rye. has anyone actually read franny and zooey? don't pretend it's good.

4. new year's eve anywhere.

5. final episode of jon & kate--i just saw this the other nite. i like the close up of jon's misspelled sign (see above) set to slow music. gawd, maybe it's better that this show just die.

6. final episode of seinfeld. now i know i'm going old school here but this was like the biggest letdown ever, for being the best show ever that final episode really did suck.

7. borat. seriously? there were like 2 good jokes.

8. doorbusters. they rip u off. for real, there are no 'deals.' it's a bunch of shit that you DO NOT WANT and would not buy but you buy it because it's "half price." i do it too. it's really stupid.

9.madewell's website--you have to CALL to order? what is this, 1994? let me go ahead and get into my toyota "tercel" and "mapquest" a route to your store. oh wait, there isn't 1 in minnesota. hello madewell, join this century. who the hell has shit online that u can't order?

10. this blog. i know, i'm sorry!!

11. closing on a house. it looks like some great thing on HGTV where you sit with your realtor who is a tool and yet it's really lame and you just sit in some office and sign your life away. whatever!

12. diaper "pails" for babies. the shit *literally* still reeks. there is nothing that can mask that odor no matter what is promised! thank god i don't have to deal with that anymore.

more later.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

squirrel round-up

i have always been kind of into squirrels (and also owls) but it seems like they are all over the place now so i wanted to showcase some of the cooler ones.

jonathan adler candle holder $88, also in black. was never so into adler when he first started but can't deny that some of his stuff is pretty awesome.

boygirlparty hoodie $35. i have this in the t-shirt. runs really small.

fredflare notebook by sukie $24. i don't have this one but i have other sukie stuff, love it.

fawn&forest floor pillow on sale $88. would die for this!

ferdinand t-shirt $24. husband has the mens in oatmeal.
constantly gets comments on it. i love ferdinand.

chocosho brooch $22. cute.

etsy pouch on sale $5.50. so cheap!

alice&isa watch necklace on sale $33.99. adorable & functional.

shanalogic corporate portrait $12. this is sweet.

go squirrels!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

2010 olympic mascots

i die for the 2010 winter olympic mascots. so cute.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

movies & tv

hey hope everyone had a good thanksgiving. i did go to toys r us at midnite with a friend on black friday and it was quite an experience. there was a line of about 200 people trying to get in and cars circling the parking lot. i really didn't even buy that much, i was going to think about the ipod touch but they were pretty much gone stat. i thought i was going to get my ass beat a few times if i didn't get out of the way. it was fun to watch everyone.

so i just started re-watching the O.C. and i'd just like to remark on how good it is, again. it's one of those shows like friday night lights where it's just like so much better than all the others out there. and i would say that its first season (similar to LOST's first season) is really one of the best first seasons of any show out there. also i am starting gossip girl, i just watched the pilot and it's ok.

anyway i was reading people magazine and wondering on what planet john krasinski is 1 of the sexiest men alive. what the hell? also regarding johnny depp, i think he is is either like really attractive or looks like he is homeless or maybe both.

also i need to comment that the asian guy ken jeong from community and the hangover (did u know he is a real life doctor btw?) is really funny. i just saw him in the goods which is like the worst movie, ever. but he was really good in it.

so i also saw new moon over the weekend. i didn't think it was that bad. i know it got like a really bad review on rotten tomatoes and i mentioned earlier how much i hate kristen stewart, but i really actually thought it was better than twilight. dakota fanning looks and acts like an idiot in it, though. other than that i thought it was ok. i also didn't think it was that long. i hate long movies and i almost died in benjamin button but the length of new moon didn't bother me that much. in other movie news i am pissed that i hear will smith's son is starring in the remake of the karate kid, my favorite movie ever. whatever!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

paul blart

so we went ahead and watched paul blart, mall cop last nite. if u have TIVO it's free to get some really shitty netflix streamed on demand so we figured what the hell. it was weird. i do love kevin james & 4 a really lame sitcom, king of queens isn't bad, but i'm not sure i would really recommend paul blart. i did genuinely laugh sometimes but a lot of times, as my husband pointed out, it seemed like he was doing a john candy impression. i really like malls so it was fun to have an entire movie set in a mall and the redhead psychopath from glee was in it too. i felt like the movie got weirder and weirder by the end though. the mall was taken over by a gang on skateboards doing acrobatics and stuff so that was strange. as my husband also pointed out, it was a lot like a foreign movie that was taking elements of american culture but not quite getting it right. anyway they ended up in the rainforest cafe which was cool because we actually go there in the mall of america. it's like the most overpriced shittiest food but for some reason we continue to go. actually the lettuce wraps aren't that bad but...anyway.

in other news i have been catching up with the real housewives of OC and let me just say what the fuck is wrong with those people? i swear to god they are like the worst. tamara is just heinous and now jeanna is dropping out so they have brought on some new freak who is just as weird as the rest. i used to like gretchen but slade is just gross so i'm on the fence about her. why is slade dating all of the housewives? and did you see his arms? he must work out 24-7. god they are all awful. they make RHNY look good. i mean at least bethenny like has a career and is sort of normal. *sigh*

so anyway happy TURKEY DAY to everyone..don't u hate when people say that?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

zombie pirates and stuff

sometimes i feel like in my shopping experiences i just keep re-living that scene in best in show where parker posey and her husband lose their dog's prized "busy bee" toy. u know so they are at the show and like totally need the toy to motivate the dog so one of them frantically goes into some dog store and asks the clerk if he sells the busy bee. the clerk ends up pausing and then bringing out a fish that is black and yellow striped and saying "this is kind of like a bee?" yeah.

so i was in toys-r-us tonight checking out the playmobil pirate sets which are 25% off this week and i really liked some of the zombie pirates but i didn't know if they were 25% off or they were in some other category. so i asked this dude who works there and he just started looking at all of the boxes and paused and said "yeah these pirate sets are 25% off." so i'm like "no, i want to know specifically if the zombies are included or not. take this box up to the front, scan it and come back and tell me because if this zombie is 25% off then all the other pirate zombies are too." so he leaves and comes back and says "yes the purple ones are 25% off too." um, they are GREEN and not purple u idiot but ok that's good news for me anyway. yeah. i mean it's not like expect competence when someone is being paid minimum wage but i do expect an answer to a direct question. it's not like i would yell at mcdonalds when they fuck up the order--it's mcdonalds, that is what they do. but i just don't expect them to try to change the subject or answer a completely different question than the one i asked!

so anyway i have a lot in common with parker posey's character in that movie considering she also reads j.crew magazines constantly. and that's probably not a good thing. also in case u were wondering why i am buying a 2 year old girl zombie pirates it's because they are cool and she's not going to be some priss when she grows up, that's why.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

stephanie tanner

one book i am not looking forward to reading is unSweetined by stephanie tanner. although i admit that i have already taught my 2 year old to say "how rude!" i think that stephanie tanner is an idiot and who in the hell would want to read her book about being on crack or whatever. i love how all these people who are fortunate enough to get on these shows and make a crap load then go whine about it later because they blew all their $$ and got addicted 2 drugs. duh!

1 other thing. here's a funny & real conversation:

*watching HGTV*

husband: "why are all these shows on HGTV taped in canada?"
me: "cause it's cheaper in canada."
husband: "why is it cheaper in canada?"
me: "probably because canada sucks."
husband: "you are retarded."

Thursday, November 12, 2009

kristen stewart and doll houses

hey so i watched adventureland the other day and it wasn't super good. is it just me or does kristen stewart look like she has about 3 STDs and basically ruined twilight? yeah i would say she is not that great and i'm betting she sucks in new moon. r.pattz is a different story, tho. anyway ryan reynolds was in adventureland at least and he is awesome..i LOVE just friends. that is like the BEST movie. anyway i wanted to say that my daughter has some awesome toys, i really like her doll house check it out.

there are some pets.

chillaxing in the living room with the flat screen.

baby with the mobile and pillow--uh oh, SIDS!

taking a bath with her clothes on. um this chick looks like one of the manson girls.

this house is like nicer than ours.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

happy birthday

happy birthday today to my friend amanda. also to leo dicaprio, i love you leo! ur the best actor, ever and i don't give a shit what anyone says! the beach wasn't too hot but ur great and i even saw that russell crowe movie u were in and it wasn't bad and i am really looking forward to that scorcese movie shutter island i am sure it will be great if ur in it. titanic was amazing and you got so screwed on the oscars last year revolutionary road did suck ass but u were good in it and u should have already gotten one for gilbert grape. one other thing i really like about u is how you obviously stuff your face in between roles because i see you at the laker games and you look like ur homeless and fat with a beard but then u totally beef up for your roles and look amazing. so that's cool. happy birthday!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

it's always sunny

i would like to talk just for a moment about it's always sunny in philadephia. i just need to comment about it because it's the weirdest show i have ever seen but sometimes i end up crying because i am laughing so hard. it's so gross and offensive and sometimes it's not very good but the highs in it are really freaking high and i think danny devito is a downright comic genuis. it's so beyond weird i can't even really describe it but, like, you should check it out sometime just to see what i am talking about. it's these 2 guys who own a bar in phildelphia and then there's this blonde chick who is really funny named "dee" and this other janitor named charlie who is like border-line retarded. in the one i just watched they set charlie up on an online date and told him to tell the girl he was a "philanthropist" and he couldn't get it right so he ended up saying "i am a full on rapist." she was like um, excuse me? also he says his favorite food is "milksteak." that is the kind of shit they do on the show, like just the weirdest shit and they are all really gross. and charlie always wears this shirt. someone must be watching this other than me because it's in like it's seventh season or something though? anyway just check it out sometime and let me know what u think because it's totally nuts.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

more h1n1 and other stuff

hello i have so many things to talk about i'm not really sure where to begin.

let's begin with the fact that K is wearing hello kitty underwear this week--very exciting, i think we are well on our way to being accident-free! what a relief, diapers are such a drag and so expensive.

second i think i ate my weight in halloween candy--yuck! i have such an addiction to sugar it's scary. i have been reading bethenny's book from R.H.N.Y. about being naturally thin. she talks a lot about the way everyone in europe is thin and about how different the mentality is there. i mean, they don't diet and they don't eat diet food but they just eat reasonable portions of good food. were it that easy. what if 1 candy corn isn't enough, what if it's either 100 or 0? that's my problem. it must be 0. i'm really glad that i hate all thanksgiving food though, at least that's not going 2b an issue.

third, in the spirit of furniture shopping, what is the consensus on the eames lounge chair? ridiculously overpriced or amazingly comfortable investment which doubles as art? i'm thinking it's more like the latter. and FYI to all my DC readers (that's you LL) room & board is coming to DC!

lastly i know this is offensive or whatever but i just need to vent for a minute on the anti-vaccine crowd. it's really coming to a head here with the h1n1 vaccine backlash and i talked to 1 mom yesterday who said she didn't want to get her daughter vaccinated because of the mercury. seriously, folks? the equivalent of a tuna fish sandwich is preventing u from sparing your daughter from h1n1? also i talked to another person who swears that there is a video on utube of a person getting a regular flu shot and then only being able to walk backwards afterward. ok, like i can't even deal with all of this nonsense anymore.

still enjoying community btw, it's really freakin good!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

design sponge etc.

i've been thinking a lot about furniture and design and home shit recently because we are thinking about doing our living room and fireplace..anyway i just wanted to mention this design website that is amazing, it has a ton of crap and one of the features it has is "living in" some movie for example dirty dancing which i love. it picks out stuff that would fit in with the movie and it's really cool. they also do edward scissorhands and some other cool movies. not quite sure why they'd choose mamma mia, however, though because it's like the worst movie ever made but whatever.

on another note, my husband is in las vegas tonight for business and just called to tell me he is going to cirque du soleil. he doesn't want to go. neither would i. is it just me or is cirque du soleil just the gayest thing ever invented next to the billy joel/elton john concert? i totally have no desire to go at all. last time i was in vegas i went to the "rat pack is back" which was really sort of disturbing. the frank and dean were old and appeared to be drunk and then these totally trashy chicks were flirting with them and it was sick. also when they were finished one of the rat pack members shouted "support the troops everybody!" we were like WTH?

speaking of the troops tho, and 9.11 i just want to mention that, for the record, i cried with laughter at NBC's community last week. seriously. last time i cried from laughing at TV was watching it's always sunny in philadelphia which is like the funniest but most whacked out show. anyway if you are not watching community UR missing out. big time. and yes i know modern family is good too and so is glee. and i can't hardly wait for RHOC. and i am enjoying the hills and the city sort of. it has been a long time since there have been so many good network comedies. last one i can remember is 30rock and before that it was seinfeld and before that it was full house. good work everybody!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

h1n1 and the daily plate

so everyone is having a shit fit over the H1N1 vaccine and i got K in for the nasal spray mist today. i had to call before the office opened and then we ended up having to go to another location. i think these pediatrician offices are getting like different quantities of shipments everyday. who knows when the shot will even be in. people are shitting bricks over it, especially people who are preggers or with little babies. i will be glad if i can spare K from getting it, it sucks.

why is jenna bush a today show correspondent btw? she is such a toad.

in other news i am excited for halloween although not for the candy. between the state fair and my 'birthday' dinner which consisted of lemon chicken penne, popovers, french onion soup and a brownie sundae (vomits) i need to get back on the diet train in a major way. i started the daily plate at so i'm going to try it for a while and see how it goes. all i know about lance armstrong is that he survived multiple cancers and he hangs out with owen wilson and matthew mcconaughey (who i hate--ew! he is so ugly and his hair is gross why does he get all these romantic lead roles?) but his website has a pretty good calorie counter where you can enter your daily exercise and foods and it will tell u how UR doing.

that's all 4 now!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

DQ rules

i really like DQ and it's H.Q. are here in mpls. i keep trying to get my husband to apply for a job in corporate there. if i could get free girl scout cookie blizzards that would be the bomb! i really like the PB parfaits too, i think those are my favorite. everything is good there (minus the non-dessert food!). xo DQ!

Thursday, October 15, 2009


not that there's anything wrong with those who believe in jesus (hereinafter "jebus" as referred to by homer simpson) or the "god squad" as i like to call's just a little weird being here in minnesota. um, like every single block has a lutheran church and everyone goes to church..and when i say everyone i mean like we are the only people in the state who do not, i think. for example, we just got some more photos taken of K by our favorite photographer here in minneapolis who is the bomb. she's smart and cool and pretty and takes the most amazing pictures and has been hired by companies and magazines and all sorts of places...anyway i went to her facebook page today and i saw that she was a fan of "fireproof." i mean, seriously? i know i have talked about this before so i won't drone on about it cameron is like seriously fucking mental. fo shizzle there is no doubt, i suffered thru seeing him on an episode of the duggars once. like what is up with this cool chick being a fan of that movie?? i don't know i mean like we aren't exactly anti-christ..we got married in a church and we even had our baby baptized and everything but like what is up with everyone being god squad? i know like there is a girl at my husband's work who seemed cool and stuff and then he said her blog was all about her helping children in some shithole with her church group. NOT that there is anything wrong with that AT ALL but it's just like u think u know someone and then BAM u find out they are super into jebus and it's like...i don't know if i can relate to that.. my husband and i have discussed it many times because our child will be a total freak if we don't take her to sunday school but like..tell me how in the world would we want to give up .25% of the weekend to go to church? sunday morning is such a great time. anyway i'm sorry if i have offended jebus but, you know.

Monday, October 12, 2009

what i want right now

this pancake ring is cool. if i were 12.

i'm still in need of this wreath but thinking it might go on sale after halloween. i can probably wait.

so we are looking for some new furniture and we went to room & board this weekend...holy shit it's the bomb and i LOVE this one!

dear skirt, where have you been all my life??! why are you sold out in every size??

i want this for K right now! LUV it!

i love this jacket! again, why is it sold out?
more to come!!

Friday, October 9, 2009

duggars v. gosselins

so the duggars welcomed their first granddaughter today and her name is "mackynzie renee duggar." first of all, nice name. second, OF COURSE she was born with a midwife and doula assisting in the birth. i'm sure they don't believe in doctors. *vomits* anyway earlier i was reading this great article on why the duggars are still worse than the is an excerpt:

"13. The Duggars are worse parents than the Gosselins! Just watch Michelle Duggar stumble over the names of her kids on The View. What's the problem, ma'am? Too busy raising apparently well-adjusted children to bother to learn their names? Ever hear of getting away by yourself to do a book tour? Or a weekend pool party in Vegas? That's how Kate and Jon Gosselin stay focused. Try it sometime.

17. The Duggars are worse for the economy than the Gosselins! Actually, the Gosselins have been great for the economy—their trashed lives turn pages, sell magazines and, until recently, score record ratings for Jon & Kate Plus 8. All the Duggars do is live quietly on their TLC show, the that'll-need-to-be-retitled 18 Kids and Counting, and pop up in the mainstream media every nine months with a new baby. Would it kill Jim Bob to get an earring and a 20-year-old girlfriend? "

the duggars are totally worse than the gosselins, agreed!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

jon gets schooled by nancy grace

ok look i'll be the first one to admit that nancy grace is mentally ill. not that anyone cares or even remembers but i am pretty sure she came out against the duke lacrosse team right away even tho they were totally innocent. there is no doubt, she CRAZY. however, this clip still cracks me pissed jon gets about nothing. oh, the drama of it all!

Monday, October 5, 2009

jon & kate drama

OMFG this jon & kate thing is so out of control i can hardly stand it. she is on the TODAY show like every other day! i saw her today being interviewed by meredith viera and apparently jon has taken like $200k out of their joint bank account. also TLC has stopped filming. kate said that jon DOES have the power to stop the show because they are his kids and also because TLC said that if 1 parent wanted it stopped then they would. i'm not sure if he can stop it legally, tho. i'm betting he already signed a release etc. i guess we'll have to wait and see. kate is in the works for her own TLC show tho, so that might work out. she said that the family is totally dependent on the show income. also the family gets a lot of benefits that they wouldn't otherwise have, of course we know this is true because on every show they are on vacation doing some randomly expensive thing that they get for free. basically kate said that jon's argument that he doesn't want the "divorce" on tv is BS because he's basically off the show now so there wouldn't be anything about the divorce. that is probably true. i'm not sure what to think. kate is such a lunatic beotch but it's almost hard not to feel sorry for her just because jon is such a d-bag. and it's very clear that he wants the kids off the show to 1. punish kate and 2. because he was kicked off. i mean this crap he said on larry king about "for the kids" is the dumbest thing ever. did he move to NY with hailey glassman "for the kids" ?? what an idiot. i hope that he doesn't stop the show. i think the show is so boring but at least i want the option to watch, i don't want HIM to make that choice for me! go kate..we all know you're a beotch but, whatever.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

babar again!

so i'm not the only 1 who thinks babar is cool around here (reference 8/21/2009 post). apparently so does suri cruise. anyway..enough about that..what about the new season of the hills? kristin is such a freakshow and i can't believe stacy has joined the cast? what in the WORLD does anyone see in justin bobby i would love to know. also i think brody's gf jade is a real freak as well. it seems at least interesting, tho, will keep watching.

jon gosselin

OMG correct me if i am wrong but "penalty" is spelled wrong, no? also isn't his name "jonathan" ?? who spells their name johnathon" ?? WTH is going on with this sign?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

dustin diamond

so i was reading the new US weekly and there is an article in there about screech's new book "behind the bell" which he says is "for the fans." i just want to say that i think he is a complete jackass and a liar. first of all he says that he wrote the book because he was watching the E true hollywood story and that it didn't get stuff right. apparently the book is a "scathing tell-all" and talks shit about the other cast members. he says that mario lopez screwed everyone and they all did drugs and how kelly screwed guys (like david silver) to further her career, etc. anyway screech is the only 1 who hasn't been able to get a job post-show and has filed 4 bankruptcy and has his own sex tape. COME ON like he is not writing this for money?? i mean i am sure there are some things in it that are based on semi-truths but it's like seriously the whole cast hates him and he is a fucking freak and i think kelly was right when she said "i feel sad for him." what an idiot! and the rest of the cast should totally do a reunion without him. the facts of life reunion was good, this would be too!

also i can't not write about jon & kate's new is jon completely off the show or is he just playing a limited role? whatever, he is such a d-bag and ads nothing to the show anyway. will be interesting to see. it's just so god awful boring, i don't think kicking him off is really going to do much but we will see.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


so i get an assload of magazines. and, when i say assload i mean it. there is almost nothing i love more than reading magazines. let's talk about the ones i get.

first there is the mandatory us weekly. it's kind of expensive and it comes pretty often but it's really great and i especially like that they have lots of stuff about clothes and makeup in addition to just news about celebrities. us weekly is where i get most of my jon & kate info. also i would say that us weekly is pretty accurate most of the time and tries a lot harder than say intouch.

next i get instyle. it's pretty much full of a lot of ads (tho not as bad as say vogue) but it's pretty good. lots of the clothes and stuff tend to fall on the more expensive side tho.

i get lucky and have gotten it ever since it started. i like it a lot tho i could do without the stickers. i mean who the hell is going to sit thru and mark their magazine with stickers like a 5 year old? lucky is nice because it's dirt cheap too, like $12 a year or something.

this year i started marie claire. i picked it up in a bookstore 1 day and really enjoyed it so i thought i would try it. 1 good thing about it is that they do some more substantial stories about real issues which is nice since i don't read a paper. so far i like it.

i also get real simple. this is a new one for me and so far I LOVE IT! holy crap they have a ton of good ideas for decorating and home stuff. i feel like there is some thought put into this magazine and they don't just put whatever shit out there.

for some reason i am still getting cookie and i don't know why. i don't really like it. i hate jenny mccarthy and they had her on the cover recently. i think kids are literally getting whooping cough now because of her anti-vaccination crusade. no offense but anyone who listens to jenny mcarthy for medical advice needs to have her head examined. talk to your fucking dr. people. also i hate cookie because they feature $300 sweaters for kids. it's like a kids fashion magazine. i'm going to go ahead and not buy K a $300 sweater ok? thanks.

i also get midwest living which is out of des moines and minnesota monthly. these are helpful to me because they have great ideas about crap to around town. sometimes they'll have like a "best burgers" article or something and i pour over it to find out where to eat. i also get sunset which i really like but is all about california. i'm not so big on the gardening aspect of it but i like the stuff about stuff to do in the bay area.

lastly i get cooking light. i don't usually cook "light" so i dunno why i get it but i do. one thing i don't like about it is that the recipes take like 5 hours to make. they are really involved compared to say recipes in midwest living.

i'm not counting the magazines my husband gets here and i am sure i am forgetting some others i get too but that is all i can remember right now. i really love magazines.

Monday, September 21, 2009


halloween rules and there are so many cool decorations out there, i am having a hard time not buying them all. check out this card wreath from williams sonoma, it's super cute.

pottery barn also has a lot of cool stuff. i'm excited for halloween. i think i may make K be raggedy ann again. her costume was pretty awesome and pretty big last year so i'm sure it still fits. people say that i am a bad parent if she has to be the same thing 2 years in a row but WTF like who gives a shit? i'm sure she really remembers what she was when she was 1, hello. note that is NOT her in the picture by the way, that is some other freak kid in what appears to be black hightops even though raggedy wears mary janes. whatever!

so in other news i did catch the "community" premiere on NBC and it was good. also "glee" on FOX has been delivering too and it's really good. i'm still watching jon & kate but it's really boring. i wish the RH of OC would come back on, i miss that a lot. i'm thinking about getting "the wire" off netflix sometime, i wonder if that's good? that's all!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

17 again etc.

i'd just like to say who cares if obama said kanye was a jackass? isn't that what everyone said? i mean seriously, like who cares. and, he was. i mean isn't that true? jesus, like obama's never allowed to say anything like he is some freaking droid robot?

i checked out a few clips of kate gosselin on the view i thought her hair looked a lot better than usual. she seemed pretty good on the show in terms of answering questions honestly. god, joy behar is such a freak i can't believe she is even still on that damn show. i don't know about the view. i watch TODAY like every day and i would never watch something over al roker and matt lauer but the view is pretty funny sometimes.

we went to the renaissance festival this weekend. we just decided to go because we are trying to do as much stuff outside as possible before it gets cold and we have to shoot ourselves. the festival was really fun and they had so much stuff for kids. they had elephants and camels and K got her first pony ride which was fun. i totally wanted to watch the medieval comedy but you can't exactly do that with a 2 year old. it was hard to tell who worked there and who was just in costume. also it was "pet fest" weekend so there were a lot of dogs and some were actually in costume with horns and stuff. pretty cool. i was just glad we got there ass early (we have to because K takes a nap at 2 PM) so we sort of beat all the crowds. by the time we left the parking lot was insane, like thousands of cars. crazy. the only thing i wasn't super hot on was that there was a LOT of exposed skin and it wasn't really the good kind.

i think we will probably be doing an assload of apple orchards coming up. they have so many here. they are so awesome with scarecrows and apple pie and hayrides and pumpkins and apple cider and goats and stuff running around. can't wait for that.

last thing i want to mention is that i did check out the movie 17 again and i would say it was really not very good. i did see matthew perry twice when i lived in L.A. and he didn't look good then and he really didn't look good in this movie either. also i think it ripped HSM too because it was zac efron like dancing and playing basketball again. i really really am a big fan of the whole freaky friday genre (including those movies with kirk cameron before he went crazy and fred savage before he went to stanford) but this one really wasn't too hot. so, don't worry if you missed it.

Monday, September 14, 2009

OMG this is so gay!

OMG this is so gay!

Friday, September 11, 2009

9/11, TIVO

today the bank has "success is an inside job" on their marquee. great, i'll be sure to remember that.

so today is 9/11. i remember on the actual 9/11 i was living right by the la brea tar pits in L.A. and my friend M was living in georgia and he called me a few times that morning like ass early because of the time difference and said "kamikazes are bombing the world trade center, holy shit!" and i remember hearing it on the answering machine and thinking "WTF i am tired" and i went back to sleep. that day was so weird. i called my law school because i was supposed to have a job interview that morning and the school said "they have not been cancelled" and so i actually went to the interview. it was so fucked. who goes to a job interview that morning? anyway i did not get that job. i don't think i would want a job at a place where they didn't cancel their interviews on 9/11, anyway.

1 thing i must mention is how much i hate it when magazines feature clothes and then when you actually go to buy those clothes they are sold out. i know it's not the magazine's fault but COME ON! i remember like a while back katie holmes wore this white beanie from hurley and it was so cute and like of course sold out everywhere. so annoying! recently i tried to buy this tunic from nine west and of course it's totally sold out and they only have the color i don't want and only in a size i don't want. i don't even own anything from nine west minus a few shoes from like 7 years ago, but i did think this was cute and worth trying. sometimes i feel like i get into such a rut where i basically won't buy anything unless it's from nordstrom or j.crew so it's nice to try something different occasionally. as long as it's not too gay. for example, i would never in a million years buy ralph lauren but then i saw where they have this thing where you can actually make your own rugby shirts and that actually might be cool.

so that's about all for now. i am looking forward to new shows starting this fall. i am hoping little people, big world is coming back. i already recorded the premiere of glee and am looking forward to that. also i think i'll probably check out community on nbc and of course 30 rock. i'm on the fence about the office so we'll see. i could about vomit jim and pam. also i was thinking cougar town might be good too.....WAIT, just kidding. there sure are a lot of nurse shows on now aren't there? like nurse jackie and hawthore and all that stuff? i watch legal dramas, NOT medical dramas so i won't be watching them but it's an interesting phenomenon. i am really glad we just ordered an external hard drive for our TIVO because we will be needing it!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

zoos and more!

we went to the zoo today, it was awesome. there are 2 great zoos in the twin cities, one is huge and amazing and we are members there and then the other one is pretty cool but smaller and it's free to get in. we went to the smaller one today. neither zoo has elephants which is a major bummer, but the big one has so much shit it's unbelievable. it even has sharks! when you get to the zoo right when it opens it's so fun and relaxing because there aren't too many crowds, i think that's the best time to go. also the animals are way more active in the morning.

so in other news, i was looking at this photographer's blog where she took some pictures of my friend's newborn and i really liked the photos of my friend, the baby is cute. i think most newborns are hideous and look like old men with wrinkles. i know you can't usually see it when it's your baby, but most are ugly. anyway hers is not but what i wanted to talk about was some of the other photos on the site. there were a lot of ones where there were these pregnant women (like really pregnant, maybe like 8 months at least) and they were standing around draped in sheer fabric and stuff with their guts hanging out. also there were some with their other kids kissing their bellies. let me be clear: please shoot me in the head if i ever pose pregnant with my kid kissing my belly. thanks.

lastly i have been meaning to talk about this for some time..there is this local bank near where we live and they change the lettering beneath the sign like every day. you know, like how gas stations can write like the prices of gas and stuff? well in the midwest like every business has a sign where they can arrange the letters underneath it, it's really weird. anyway the point of this is that i hate this bank. this bank writes an inspirational message like every day and i just drive by it and i have to read the message and seriously like each day this bank out gays itself. like the other day said "if you throw dirt you lose ground." i'll keep you posted on some of the good ones, they are really really gay.

Friday, September 4, 2009

the fair and food network stars

so we went to the state fair today and we grubbed down! we had a belgian waffle on a stick, cheese curds, a fried twinkie, mini donuts, corndogs, fresh-squeezed lemonade, cotton candy (my favorite) and hamburgers. we restrained ourselves from getting the "bucket" of cookies. diet starts tomorrow!

speaking of food, who do you think is the best star on the food network? i like bobby flay a lot and i like the show throwdown but i am starting to think maybe guy fieri is the best star on that channel. diners, drive-ins and dives is a pretty sweet show and he seems pretty cool. also i think he works really hard. one thing i don't like, though, is how he wears his sunglasses on the back of his head. other than that though i would say he might be the best one. i hate giada and she acts so whorish. then there's paula deen who is insane. i think she would be ok except for her 2 sons who are total parasites off of her. i like her husband who is like 500 pounds and mumbles about donuts. that dude is going to die soon. i should talk though, the mini donuts we had at the fair were awesome. duff is a freak, he is nowhere near the best one. i almost forgot i like the neelys too and especially because a lot of it is about BBQ which is so good. who else is there? i don't like tyler florence that much because he thinks he is hot. so i guess i would say i like guy and bobby the best for now.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

duggars again

*vomits*. the duggars are having another baby. seriously, it's not funny. this has become a mental illness and needs to be stopped. can we have the dept. of social services go in and sterilize her or what? she is not going to stop until either she can't get pregnant or maybe after a kid with down's syndrome. that stopped sarah palin. the duggars are like the worst right?

speaking of sarah palin, is levi now on dancing with the stars or what? i think he should be. i do see that tom delay is on it, though. i remember they tried to get cindy mccain and she was like "oh F no." tom delay looks like an ass on it, why do these people do these things? it's so stupid. i get kelly osbourne who has no talent and no prospects for anything...people like her just try to go from one reality show to another *coughs..omarosa* but tom delay, come on? and don't his eyes look really weird? what is going on there?

so i finally caught up with last week's jon & kate and let me tell you it was boring. the boys went on a ship or something and basically mady and cara acted like idiots and that was the end of it. i did read the latest people magazine article though where kate said she thinks jon has been abducted by aliens and that she feels like she is divorcing a 15 year old. i can see that. i wish the show would just focus more on them talking shit about eachother. that's way more interesting.

happy labor day!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

reese's puffs

reese's puffs are *amazing* but totally look like dog food! (click on the picture to get a really good look). but really what of reese's isn't good? i believe reese's pieces are the best candy ever. and not just because of E.T! i also like the reese's puffs jingle, "eat 'em up eat 'em up." also check out my klip-it cereal containers. they are sweet because they keep your cereal fresh and safe from any unwanted visitors like bugs. not that you have tons of bugs in your house because that's sick, but you know what i mean.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

why i'm going to hell..

not to be a playa hater, but was the flag at perkins really half mast for teddy kennedy? i realize he did a lot of shit in the senate especially with health care and that he was in there for a million years, but when i interned in D.C. 1996 i swear he looked like a corpse then, it is crazy he has lasted this long, really with the amount he ate and drank. it's cool that he supported obama when not a lot of people were and i do get that his brothers were awesome. however, that said, i mean he was the screw up of the family and he basically was handed a senate seat. so, we are all congratulating him for not completely fucking up his seat, i guess. also he did kill that chick in the river, too, so that's great. i know, i know, he redeemed himself. still.

in the spirit of being completely offensive, i also have to talk for just a bit about the chick that was just found after 18 years. apparently she was kidnapped at age 11 and she has just emerged now 18 years later after being held in this freak's backyard. ok, that majorly sucks. i get it. i just have to put this out there though: how the fuck do you not escape after 18 years? literally people escaped from alcatraz in less time. and, that's an island. i mean i realize that this dude was probably focusing on her 24-7 but surely he must have had to go buy groceries or something. i mean how do you not get the fuck out of there at some point? seriously? jump the fence, steal a cell phone. come on. i realize she was 11 which is really young and there's that whole stockholm syndrome thing, but i just wonder.

i know, i'm totally going to hell. especially because i saw this old lady pull into the handicap spot at target today and i didn't see a sticker or anything on her car so i was like "WTF? why RU parking there?" and then later i saw her in target and she was wearing braces on her legs. yeah, i guess she did deserve that spot after all. shit!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

HGTV and halloween

we did get our TIVO up and running so life is back to normal thank god now i can finally watch the rachel zoe project. also one show i have been majorly checking out is real estate intervention on HGTV and it's totally good. i'm probably a lot more interested in it because we recently bought a house, but i think it's totally hilarious. basically it's this total mack real estate agent who comes in and tells these d-bags "hey you moron, your house is worth a lot less than it's listed for." no shit, the economy sucks. people are so freaking stupid, i can't even believe some of the shit that they say! i think people are totally delusional when it comes to selling their home. we bought our house in march and paid $40K under the original asking price. i mean, seriously, it's the economy folks. people think because they paid a certain amount tor they put $$ into it then that's what they should get and their house sits on the market for 9 months and they don't know why. anyway, i like the star of the show and i like the show.

one other thing i wanted to mention is how excited i am for halloween. not the winter which follows halloween, but just the fall. i love the decorations and activities and food and everything about the fall and about halloween. too bad 1/2 the country will have swine flu at that point (holy shit, did you see what the CDC is predicting?). i'm glad i already had that shit! or, at least i think i did. and hopefully everyone can get it together and get those vaccinations out STAT! otherwise it looks like it's going to majorly suck ass for everyone! i think K will go as raggedy ann again this year. i'm pretty sure the costume will fit and i don't give a shit if she was already that last year because it's a cool costume.

so the renaissance festival is also here and going strong in MN. i would like to go and make fun of them but it's like i think it would actually be fun and i bet they have some good food and also couldn't they just be like: "um, you're here." it would be hard to make fun of it if you actually paid admission, right? i think i might wait and go next year. seems like my 2 year old would be a little young for it still. anyway, that's about all for now!

ps. 1 more thing i forgot. i was flipping thru channels last week and i saw the end of a hallmark movie which starred alicia silverstone and she was sick and dying and she had a son or something. in one way i felt sorry for her because she used to be so cute and such a star and i really think clueless was 1 of the most amazing movies ever and look at her, now she is doing hallmark movies! but on the other hand i guess i don't feel sorry for her because it's like she's still getting work so that's better than tons of other actors, right? so good for her! kind of.

Friday, August 21, 2009


so i've been reading a bunch of books lately. a while back i read:

tim gunn's guide to style and it was really good and helpful which is partly why i thought i might check out project runway.

recently i also read how not to die by dr. g who is apparently like this big medical examiner on a discovery health show which i have never seen. i would say that her book was good and i would like to check out the show. she talks a lot about the people she has autopsied and about how some of the stuff was totally preventable and about how you can do little things to prevent accidents.

right now i just started pride and prejudice and zombies and also the scarecrow which is michael connelly's latest. i have read almost every michael connelly book so i hope this one will be good. he is actually coming to a bookstore in st. paul in a few months and i am thinking about checking it out. the zombie book is also good so far but i think you probably have to be a person who is pretty familiar with pride and prejudice (i am) in order to think it's funny. 1 thing i thought was cool on the book jacket was that the author was described as "having taken an english class in L.A. once" or something like that. i see that there is also a new one coming out about sense and sensibility and sea monsters or something. maybe this whole concept is getting a little bit carried away.

lastly i just picked up the girl with the dragon tattoo at barnes and noble because it was a huge bestseller and the new one just came out so i thought i should try the original first and see if it's good. i have high hopes.

finally i don't know if anyone even gives a shit or what but i'd just like to point out that other than goodnight, moon, i really think some of the best children's books out there are the kevin henkes ones. the dude is really a complete mack and i would say that if you are ever looking for a present for a kid you just can't go wrong with this dude's stuff. speaking of children's books also reminds me of a recent experience at barnes and noble. we went in looking for some more babar books, you know the french elephant king and his royal family who hang out with monkeys and hippos? yeah. anyway we asked if they had any babar and the chick said "oh you mean ba-BAR?" well, yes, that is how they say it in france but we are not in france. anyway B&N of course doesn't carry babar anymore and they literally said "try france." um, you know what? try FUCK OFF beeotch! try AMAZON.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

comcast and the state fair

i don't really have much to say because we have been having major DVR problems lately so i haven't been able to watch TV at all! our power went out for an hour like a week ago and so our replay tv which was our DVR started having problems. so we went to comcast and rented this DVR from this transexual who parted her/his hair on the back of his head and got pissed at me when i asked if there was a start-up fee. (there is not, apparently). anyway we decided that we absolutely cannot deal with the comcast DVR so this weekend we went and bought TIVO. i really don't know what the solution is but i cannot live with the comcast one and was not surprised at all considering how much comcast sucks ass. it has been really frustrating because i see that there are a lot of shows on that i want to watch (i am thinking about trying project runway, for example) but i won't watch live TV so i am sort of screwed. hopefully we can get this situation resolved soon and i can get back to the new episodes of jon & kate which i have been missing. *sigh*

this past weekend we went to what is supposed to be the best pizza place in minneapolis. it's called black sheep pizza and while it was really good, i still just can't get over the fact that i really prefer chicago style to NY. i don't know what it is but i really like deep dish and i don't care if people call it a "casserole" pizza but i think thin pizza is really stupid and so is folding it over! and so is NY for that matter! ok, not really, but NY does suck in a lot of ways. also i really just prefer pepperoni to all other kinds, i think it tastes amazing. sometime i would like to do a pizza tour of chicago like our BBQ tour of kansas city that we did last december. mmm, speaking of food i cannot WAIT to go to the state fair. it's going to be off the hook..! i love all the food and all the animals and rides and crazy stuff. it's such a big deal here in MN but it hasn't really been humid at all this summer so that should help. state fairs are really fun, i have had a lot of fried food and i would say the fried twinkie was one of the best. i really didn't think fried oreos were all that great, or the snickers. i would like to try fried bacon and also fried coke (do they even make that?) sounds good! also i totally dig the air brush t-shirts. we got K a hello kitty air brushed onesie when she was 1 and it was so cute! everyone said it was totally WT but like WTF i think air brushing is funny and cool. fuck it!

ps. i'd like to make a correction to one of my earlier posts. in my post about bad-ass animals i erroneously stated that owls shit out the mice balls. MY BAD they totally puke them up and DO not shit them out. thank you to my husband for pointing that out.