RHOC SPAWN

i know the real housewives of OC hasn't been on for a while, but i do miss it and was thinking about a pretty serious question. who is worse, the real housewives of season 4 or their spawn?

first there is jeana. she is sort of like the original housewife i guess. jeana is not as bad as some of the others. i almost felt sorry for her because her husband has had like 5 DUIs. anyway, her spawn are colton, shane and kara. colton is obviously an idiot and so is kara despite the fact that they pretend like she is smart for some reason. shane is the real winner here, though. correct me if i am wrong, but i believe shane said something to the effect that he was going to literally kill his mom when she and vicki showed up at his 'minor' league baseball game. shane also had some thing with Jo in one of the early seasons.."to catch a predator," anyone? verdict: shane is worse than his mom.

ok then we have vicki who is like the worst person ever and just a bitch to everyone basically. (incidentally, what is that she is carrying in the picture? a mini-laptop?) her spawn are the nurse girl who wants to go into the army and the boy who she visited at college in colorado and acted like he didn't know who she was. i am pretty sure that i remember the boy saying "i will sell insurance too if it can get me a yacht" but then he went on the insurance cruise and proceeded to do nothing. he is lazy and an alcoholic for sure. hmm, he is pretty bad. verdict: vicki is even worse.

tamara is a freak. i'm not going to get into her little kids but what i will say is that her son who wanted to be a cop and then now is a bartender is pretty gross. he is the one who always fights with simon. also i believe he is gay. he got a tattoo on his lip, right? it said "nugget" i believe. *nods head* right, that is -totally- normal. anyway i would say that it's a tie. tamara and her spawn are equally f'd up (not including the little kids, i am not going to bag on them).

i saved the best for last. the new character, lynne. OMG her spawn raquel is THE WORST. seriously, the worst person on the show of any season. at lynne's cocktail party jeanna asked her what she likes or what she wants to do or something to that effect and wasn't her answer "i don't like anything" ? *slap* she needs a reality check in a major way. she is like the dumbest of them all and also the laziest. she does like to get trashed at bowling alleys, though. i am so disgusted by her and her new car!! yuck! verdict: raquel is the worst person on the planet!!!

911 calls again

ALOHA, Ore. – An Oregon man spent Memorial Day in jail after dialing 911 to complain that a McDonald's worker was rude and didn't give him an orange juice he ordered. Raibin Osman was accused of improper use of the emergency telephone number.

wondering if it might be possible to get lethal injections going for people make 911 calls relating to mcdonalds? just a thought.

multiple "blessings"

ok so i know i was finished with jon and kate but now it's actually interesting (i.e. not taking alexis to the alligator farm) so i did watch the premiere. first of all, what is the hell is going on with jon? he looked to me to be extremely sunburned. he had not shaved and then his hair was all gelled up and he sounded like he was on some kind of drug like maybe a sedative. he said "my mom always said life's about choices." you know what jon? *slap* it is, and you chose to be on this stupid show. also why so vague about your "mistakes" ?? they both keep sidestepping the issues and it just makes everything more complicated than it needs to be.

anyway, then kate was there of course being separately interviewed sporting the "reverse mullet" and the boob job. she was whining about the media attention. then they had another damn party for the freak kids, this time it was a bouncy party. kate was complaining because jon was MIA and she says "you still have to do it up because you never get their fifth birthday back again." since when do kids need a mega party anyway? our K turned 2 in march and she had some sugar cookies and we gave her a few toys and called it a day, for the love of god. also we did not put her hair in braids and bows, freaks!

i don't know, i really don't feel sorry for either of them they are both just so damn ridiculous. i read somewhere that kate is such a drill sergeant that if you go in their house the only way you know they live there is because there are 10 sets of shoes lined up (because no one can wear shoes in kate's house). i mean with 5 year olds you would expect toys and stuff lying around but NO not with her. i swear to god kate thinks she is victoria beckham now. she is always with her bodyguard. hello, you were an nurse for 10 minutes and you are from shitsville PA? (sorry PA). note to kate: get a grip. you brought all of this on yourself and screwed your kids in the process. what were you thinking?? you're almost as bad as tamara from RHOC. almost.

ps. i enjoyed the ads for the duggars. now the show is called 18 and counting. does that mean she is pregnant again? and how many times can they talk about how many __fill in the blank__ does the family eat/need/whatever. they have 1,450 teeth combined! GREAT, who cares?

woman calls 911 over ______

SERIOUSLY, seriously if i have to read one more goddamn story on yahoo news about some idiot calling 911 over __fill in the blank with stupid problem__ like mcdonalds being out of mcnuggets i am going to shoot myself. what in the HELL are these people thinking? here's what the florida woman said who called about the mcnuggets: "This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one," police quoted her as saying. "This is an emergency." GRANTED who the HELL wants to eat a mcdouble and what even is that? is that a double cheeseburger? and furthermore mcdonalds nuggets HAVE come a long way. they are no longer gray. i would definitely take the nuggets over the "mcdouble." STILL, do not call 911!

further, there was yet another story about a woman not getting enough shrimp in her fried rice in texas. JESUS people. i love what the cook had to say: Cook June Lee says nothing was wrong with the meal, and that "some customers are happy. Some are not." YOU GOT THAT RIGHT! *snaps finger in customer's face*

then there was the dad who called about the son's messy room. i think the real problem here is that the son was 28 and living in the parent's basement. how embarrassing for the son to have the AP pick up the story and broadcast that he still lives at home. not to mention his dad is insane for calling 911. what's next? kim kardashian calls 911 over ass not fitting into pants? anyway people please stop calling 911, i really don't want to read about your cold hamburgers or whatever anymore.

best picture of the year 2008

OK so what was the best picture of the year for 2008? we recently rented MILK and FROST/NIXON and i can't decide.

i saw SLUMDOG in the theater like a year after it came out. i would say it was ok. what i like about it is that all those kids are now back living in slums again and their parents are trying to sell them. that's fantastic. i was thinking slumdog might be 2008's "life is beautiful" remember roberto benigni? the total freak who walked on everyone's heads at the oscars? he had like 1 hit and then followed it up with pinocchio (ouch!) anyway we will see if any of those slumdog people do anything else. remember how everyone said all those blair witch people were going to be famous? right.

anyway benjamin button isn't even worth mentioning. i saw it in the theater and i swear to god it was like 4 hours long. also i really could have done without him transforming into a baby and dying at the end. jesus! so that leaves "the reader" whatever the hell that is? and then it's back to FROST/NIXON and MILK. MILK was good. i think i love emile hirsch. and even though sean penn is such an a-hole, he did a good job. but i watched FROST/NIXON last night and it was good too. frank langella was awesome. seriously, he is good. except i think it's totally weird that he used to date whoopi goldberg--WTH is up with that? i thought the guy playing FROST was weird and annoying in the commercials and i wouldn't like him, but he turned out to be ok actually. also oliver platt is in it and he is hilarious. SO basically all in all i would say DARK NIGHT was the best movie of 2008. maybe.

biscuit

product review: fur real friends "Biscuit" my lovin' pup. ok so K got this robot dog for xmas. she was like 20 months at the time and did not give a crap about the dog. now she is 2 though, and she actually likes this robot! the dog is weird, it has a collar with a bunch of commands like "sit up and beg" on it. you are supposed to yell the commands and then the dog reacts accordingly. sometimes when the dog gets up on both hind legs it falls over on its face. also K likes to stick the bone it its mouth which makes it top heavy so it falls over. one other weird thing, the batteries are inserted into its groin with a screwdriver. right. i will say that K genuinely likes this thing and calls it "BIQUIT" and says to "turn BIQUIT ON." whatever, it's a LOT easier than having a real dog and it won't crap on your floors so i would give it an A-. one other thing though, i noticed that they are also selling a "fur real" newborn chimp. um, hello.