i'm on break..so get off my back

so instead of just abandoning this blog i am writing to let all of you know (uh my 3 or so loyal readers) that i'm going to take a break. I AM pregnant ok so get off my back! i am just too damn tired to write anything. i am not one of those people who enjoys being pregnant...um, what's enjoyable about a bowling ball in your stomach exactly? yeah, i'm not sure. i pretty much hate everything about it except the occasional dr. visits where i can actually see the baby. so anyway i have enough problems right now without feeling like i need to constantly rip ramona (what the hell is up with RHONYC btw, OMG!). hopefully i will pick back up again, i just can't deal right now and i think it's a pretty good excuse. god, being pregnant does suck!! i especially love gaining and losing 40 lbs. and then doing it all over again, that's great. at least this will be the last time, i SWEAR!! how i envy you who have already had all your babies! it's not even the "having the baby" part that is so bad, it's just the 9 or so months prior--! oh, and i will go ahead and NOT have photos taken of my belly by the way.

in other news i have NOT been watching kate gosselin on dancing with the stars, i really just couldn't possibly stomach that right now. i am sure she looks like an idiot. i did catch the "pregnancy pact" on rerun on lifetime tho and i thought it was pretty good. well, that's all i have for now..smell u later. not forever, hopefully. xo.

the housewives and flags

i'm sorry i haven't written anything lately, i have just been so tired! i have been able to watch plenty of reality TV tho, and i must say that the premiere of RHNY and finale of RHOC did not disappoint. anyway check out these flags, they are amazing. i'm a big fan of the pumpkin wearing a firefighter hat, too. i like how they are $25, too not including shipping. anyway RHOC went out with a bang thanks to alexa or alexis or whatever the F lynn's daughter's name is. she is definitely amazing. also i enjoyed tamra getting a divorce and moving into a condo. lastly, RHNY was amazing, they are so psychotic! i do like bethenny tho. i hate the countess, she is so annoying. also i was glad that the skinny one (alex?) who is married to the gay guy wasn't on it as much because she is super boring. anyway i am so excited it's getting a little warmer outside, thank the lord! it's getting up into the 40s here this week and soon to be 50s, i can't wait for the snow to melt. so that's about it!

competency

hey why is kim kardashian in the news everyday?

anyway a while back i watched 'brace for impact' on TLC the sully sullenberger story about the pilot who landed that plane in the hudson 1 year ago in case u have been living under a rock. anyway it was pretty remarkable what he did after all those canadian geese flew into his plane. i think that like 9 out of 10 pilots would have definitely fucked the whole thing up and i was really impressed that he could save 150 people. he is what i would consider to be "highly competent." how many people (from your server at applebees to the customer service person at the 1-800#) do you encounter who are highly competent btw? i would say that most people (probably 6/10) i encounter are "grossly incompetent." maybe 3/10 are adequate and i guess about 1/10 would be competent. it seems like incompetence is really more like the standard with people. hopefully your doctor is competent, and your accountant though.

i did buy the people magazine with the duggars on the cover and was not impressed because it didn't really provide any new info. i like how this new 1 lb. baby has "ignited a firestorm" of controversy tho because they are saying they are still going to keep having babies. um, where was the controversy like 10 kids ago when they were all clearly completely fucked in the head? nothing has changed. i hate them. of course they are going to keep having babies. why wouldn't they? why wouldn't their first kiss be on their wedding day? of course, it all makes sense when u have an IQ of 80.

cake boss again

so i have like every episode of cake boss from this season recorded but i definitely have not been watching them. anyway i saw that he did the cake for the 40th anniversary of sesame street and since sesame street is like such a huge part of my life right now i had to watch. i must say he did a pretty good job, i thought the cake looked a lot better than duff's would have just because the characters were life like and didn't look like duff's generic figures. also i'm sure that S.S. went to cake boss also because he's closer to NYC. the main guy made a huge cookie for cookie monster, too, which was good.

one thing i really enjoyed during cake boss were the ads for the duggars new 1 pound baby's birth, too. i mean, really. fucking stop, you are not a cow. maybe they will finally stop now that 1 of the kids is going to be completely fucked up. i mean this baby was born like WAY way too early, seriously it is going to have some massive problems if it can even survive. what a joke, why did they have to keep going? so they could keep the show "and counting" ?? it's so sick, that baby is so screwed in so many ways.

so what about this new movie dear, john? i'm just not sure because i like the guy and i liked step up. however, that chick was the star of mamma mia so it's like she's not OK at all. also i think her eyes are way too far apart on her head and she looks like a freak.

anyway is that the chick from will and grace dancing in the new "i can't believe it's not butter" ads or what? i can't tell. and why is luke wilson doing cell phone ads? it is sad or OK? no one really cared when catherine zeta jones did t-mobile so maybe it's not a step down, i don't know, it just seems a little weird.

i'm really sorry i missed the pregnancy pact on lifetime.

release the kraken

i think that the new clash of the titans starring the dude from avatar and liam neeson looks really good. i also think liam neeson looks particularly cool in the trailer when he says "release the kraken." i think that's a phrase that i might have to adopt into my everyday vernacular. like, when they leave the sauce on your snack wrap at mcdonalds. "release the kraken."

there are a lot of lines from movies that i use all the time, i think i probably use more phrases from office space than from any other movie though. i like to say "i'm going to go ahead and ___" a lot. i also like to say "what do you DO?" which can refer to a lot of different people. there are a lot of people out there who have jobs where they do nothing. like, people who work at the post office, for example. 1 other phrase i use a lot is from the worst movie ever LXG aka the league of extraordinary gentlemen starring a 90 year old sean connery. there were many many good lines from that movie but i really have adopted the "i'm waiting to be impressed.." and it's useful in a lot of situations.

anyway, speaking of liam neeson, we did watch "taken" on netflix the other day mostly just because everything else in our queue is on a "very long wait." it was actually good, i recommend it! it's about this CIA special agent guy who is retired (liam neeson) and these freaks kidnap his daughter in france. he has to go get her and murder approximately 45 people in the process. my favorite part was when he was on the phone to the kidnapper briefly. he says something like "i don't have any $ and if you release her now i won't pursue you. BUT if you keep her, what i do have is a PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS AND I WILL HUNT YOUR ASS FOREVER UNTIL I FIND YOU...you will not live etc etc" i don't think a lot of people could pull the role off, maybe denzel and russel crowe. anyway, it was good or at least i thought it was watchable.

ps. 1 last thing i'd like to give a shout out to leo who will be on the haiti telethon tonight on nbc and who has already donated 1 million to help out. he looked amazing in HD at the golden globes presenting to martin scorsese. i can't help but think all the other actors must be jealous since scorsese keeps casting him because he is clearly superior to all others. i think gisele really missed her shot there.

US weekly needs to stop

US weekly really needs to stop pitting toddlers against eachother. i'm so sick of in the "who wore it best" section seeing violet affleck & suri cruise wearing the same juicy cardigan and apparently 57% thought violet wore it best. you know what, that is ridiculous. i've seen it a couple of times before but over half their page this issue is kids and i think it's out of control. let's give them a complex at age 3 about who looks best.

in other news, i'm going to retire the word "gay" from my blog because it's apparently "offensive" so i'm trying to find an appropriate word to describe the new bachelor "on the wings of love." lame is offensive to cripples, right, and "dumb" or "stupid" really just doesn't do it justice. fuck. i do know a good word for the bachelor tho--d-bag, for sure.

so we saw dance flick the other night. i don't really think i need to even say anything about that movie that you already couldn't have guessed.

we are going to elmo live on friday and we have ROW 1 SEAT 1 so that should be a good time.

1 other thing i wanted to mention is that i went to the mall of america last nite and i usually only go there at 10 AM so it was weird to be there at nite but anyway i am sick of the people at the carts who are selling crap like lotion or irons to straighten your hair or hair extensions...yelling at you as you walk by. um, excuse me but i thought this was minnesota not fucking tijuana. WTF is up with those people and why when you say "no thank you" do they feel the need to continue on? i guess they don't know the difference between stupid and smart people so they just treat everyone the same but, like, seriously? i hate those carts. also i prefer the mall in the AM and all the moms with their bugaboos as opposed to the creepy teenagers there at night..ick.

ps. i can't believe what NBC is doing to conan, that's so fucked up.

movies & tv 2

so i know i have been MIA lately, i have just been so lazy i haven't been able to write anything. not that there hasn't been plenty to write about tho. between kate gosselin's new hair extensions and jersey shore, holy crap our country is really going down the tubes.

anyway..i'll start with xmas break. basically i just stuffed my face over xmas which was a huge mistake and saw shitloads of movies. we saw avatar which was really good, and sherlock holmes which was good and up in the air which was ok. i was so pumped to see the new leo trailers tho, especially for shutter island. god, it's going to be so good! and as my husband so astutely pointed out, we'll just wait until it comes out and then watch..all the critics will once again be like "oh, i guess leo can actually act." NO SHIT psychos.

then i was alone on new years because i was at my mom's house but my husband had to go home and actually work for a while. anyway i put my daughter to sleep at like 9 and then ended up flipping between ryan seacrest and jersey shore and thinking what the hell is my life coming to that i am watching jersey shore? like, i don't even understand what the fuck is with these people? they are so gross like i don't even get it? is that what people on the east coast are like or what? i don't even really like NY. and especially NJ. i think the only people i know from NJ are madonna and bon jovi right? ick!

in other news i think i saw the worst movie ever last night. do not see that sandra movie all about steve, ever. seriously, don't ever. the only redeeming quality was ken jeong who is so funny especially in the hangover which we saw in the theater but am patiently waiting for on netflix despite the "very long wait." fuck u netflix!

and now we are in the midst of another season of the bachelor..the largest gathering of whores on the planet, this new bachelor is such a tool. i feel like all the girls leave any remaining dignity they might have in the limo, it's so contrived..they all start talking about being his "co-pilot in life" from day 1. really. and there's always the complete psycho who starts like hyperventilating when they get cut..i love that.

also yesterday i was watching the end of the latest R.H.O.C. and vicki and don were renewing their vows in turks and caicos and my husband walks in and watched and said "vicki seems nice?" holy shit, i almost fell of the couch. all i could say was "she is the devil, you have no freaking clue what you are talking about."

the last thing i'm going to say is that i am starting season 2 of gossip girl and yes, it is actually good. so everyone was right and i was wrong and i admit that. i do the elliptical for 45 minutes everyday so i like to have a show that i can watch 1 episode of and this 1 is definitely good for that. i still think the O.C. was better but that's ok, both are good.