dustin diamond

so i was reading the new US weekly and there is an article in there about screech's new book "behind the bell" which he says is "for the fans." i just want to say that i think he is a complete jackass and a liar. first of all he says that he wrote the book because he was watching the E true hollywood story and that it didn't get stuff right. apparently the book is a "scathing tell-all" and talks shit about the other cast members. he says that mario lopez screwed everyone and they all did drugs and how kelly screwed guys (like david silver) to further her career, etc. anyway screech is the only 1 who hasn't been able to get a job post-show and has filed 4 bankruptcy and has his own sex tape. COME ON like he is not writing this for money?? i mean i am sure there are some things in it that are based on semi-truths but it's like seriously the whole cast hates him and he is a fucking freak and i think kelly was right when she said "i feel sad for him." what an idiot! and the rest of the cast should totally do a reunion without him. the facts of life reunion was good, this would be too!

also i can't not write about jon & kate's new news..so is jon completely off the show or is he just playing a limited role? whatever, he is such a d-bag and ads nothing to the show anyway. will be interesting to see. it's just so god awful boring, i don't think kicking him off is really going to do much but we will see.

magazines!

so i get an assload of magazines. and, when i say assload i mean it. there is almost nothing i love more than reading magazines. let's talk about the ones i get.

first there is the mandatory us weekly. it's kind of expensive and it comes pretty often but it's really great and i especially like that they have lots of stuff about clothes and makeup in addition to just news about celebrities. us weekly is where i get most of my jon & kate info. also i would say that us weekly is pretty accurate most of the time and tries a lot harder than say intouch.

next i get instyle. it's pretty much full of a lot of ads (tho not as bad as say vogue) but it's pretty good. lots of the clothes and stuff tend to fall on the more expensive side tho.

i get lucky and have gotten it ever since it started. i like it a lot tho i could do without the stickers. i mean who the hell is going to sit thru and mark their magazine with stickers like a 5 year old? lucky is nice because it's dirt cheap too, like $12 a year or something.

this year i started marie claire. i picked it up in a bookstore 1 day and really enjoyed it so i thought i would try it. 1 good thing about it is that they do some more substantial stories about real issues which is nice since i don't read a paper. so far i like it.

i also get real simple. this is a new one for me and so far I LOVE IT! holy crap they have a ton of good ideas for decorating and home stuff. i feel like there is some thought put into this magazine and they don't just put whatever shit out there.

for some reason i am still getting cookie and i don't know why. i don't really like it. i hate jenny mccarthy and they had her on the cover recently. i think kids are literally getting whooping cough now because of her anti-vaccination crusade. no offense but anyone who listens to jenny mcarthy for medical advice needs to have her head examined. talk to your fucking dr. people. also i hate cookie because they feature $300 sweaters for kids. it's like a kids fashion magazine. i'm going to go ahead and not buy K a $300 sweater ok? thanks.

i also get midwest living which is out of des moines and minnesota monthly. these are helpful to me because they have great ideas about crap to around town. sometimes they'll have like a "best burgers" article or something and i pour over it to find out where to eat. i also get sunset which i really like but is all about california. i'm not so big on the gardening aspect of it but i like the stuff about stuff to do in the bay area.

lastly i get cooking light. i don't usually cook "light" so i dunno why i get it but i do. one thing i don't like about it is that the recipes take like 5 hours to make. they are really involved compared to say recipes in midwest living.

i'm not counting the magazines my husband gets here and i am sure i am forgetting some others i get too but that is all i can remember right now. i really love magazines.

halloween

halloween rules and there are so many cool decorations out there, i am having a hard time not buying them all. check out this card wreath from williams sonoma, it's super cute.

pottery barn also has a lot of cool stuff. i'm excited for halloween. i think i may make K be raggedy ann again. her costume was pretty awesome and pretty big last year so i'm sure it still fits. people say that i am a bad parent if she has to be the same thing 2 years in a row but WTF like who gives a shit? i'm sure she really remembers what she was when she was 1, hello. note that is NOT her in the picture by the way, that is some other freak kid in what appears to be black hightops even though raggedy wears mary janes. whatever!

so in other news i did catch the "community" premiere on NBC and it was good. also "glee" on FOX has been delivering too and it's really good. i'm still watching jon & kate but it's really boring. i wish the RH of OC would come back on, i miss that a lot. i'm thinking about getting "the wire" off netflix sometime, i wonder if that's good? that's all!

17 again etc.

i'd just like to say who cares if obama said kanye was a jackass? isn't that what everyone said? i mean seriously, like who cares. and, he was. i mean isn't that true? jesus, like obama's never allowed to say anything like he is some freaking droid robot?

i checked out a few clips of kate gosselin on the view i thought her hair looked a lot better than usual. she seemed pretty good on the show in terms of answering questions honestly. god, joy behar is such a freak i can't believe she is even still on that damn show. i don't know about the view. i watch TODAY like every day and i would never watch something over al roker and matt lauer but the view is pretty funny sometimes.

we went to the renaissance festival this weekend. we just decided to go because we are trying to do as much stuff outside as possible before it gets cold and we have to shoot ourselves. the festival was really fun and they had so much stuff for kids. they had elephants and camels and K got her first pony ride which was fun. i totally wanted to watch the medieval comedy but you can't exactly do that with a 2 year old. it was hard to tell who worked there and who was just in costume. also it was "pet fest" weekend so there were a lot of dogs and some were actually in costume with horns and stuff. pretty cool. i was just glad we got there ass early (we have to because K takes a nap at 2 PM) so we sort of beat all the crowds. by the time we left the parking lot was insane, like thousands of cars. crazy. the only thing i wasn't super hot on was that there was a LOT of exposed skin and it wasn't really the good kind.

i think we will probably be doing an assload of apple orchards coming up. they have so many here. they are so awesome with scarecrows and apple pie and hayrides and pumpkins and apple cider and goats and stuff running around. can't wait for that.

last thing i want to mention is that i did check out the movie 17 again and i would say it was really not very good. i did see matthew perry twice when i lived in L.A. and he didn't look good then and he really didn't look good in this movie either. also i think it ripped HSM too because it was zac efron like dancing and playing basketball again. i really really am a big fan of the whole freaky friday genre (including those movies with kirk cameron before he went crazy and fred savage before he went to stanford) but this one really wasn't too hot. so, don't worry if you missed it.

OMG this is so gay!

OMG this is so gay!

9/11, TIVO

today the bank has "success is an inside job" on their marquee. great, i'll be sure to remember that.

so today is 9/11. i remember on the actual 9/11 i was living right by the la brea tar pits in L.A. and my friend M was living in georgia and he called me a few times that morning like ass early because of the time difference and said "kamikazes are bombing the world trade center, holy shit!" and i remember hearing it on the answering machine and thinking "WTF i am tired" and i went back to sleep. that day was so weird. i called my law school because i was supposed to have a job interview that morning and the school said "they have not been cancelled" and so i actually went to the interview. it was so fucked. who goes to a job interview that morning? anyway i did not get that job. i don't think i would want a job at a place where they didn't cancel their interviews on 9/11, anyway.

1 thing i must mention is how much i hate it when magazines feature clothes and then when you actually go to buy those clothes they are sold out. i know it's not the magazine's fault but COME ON! i remember like a while back katie holmes wore this white beanie from hurley and it was so cute and like of course sold out everywhere. so annoying! recently i tried to buy this tunic from nine west and of course it's totally sold out and they only have the color i don't want and only in a size i don't want. i don't even own anything from nine west minus a few shoes from like 7 years ago, but i did think this was cute and worth trying. sometimes i feel like i get into such a rut where i basically won't buy anything unless it's from nordstrom or j.crew so it's nice to try something different occasionally. as long as it's not too gay. for example, i would never in a million years buy ralph lauren but then i saw where they have this thing where you can actually make your own rugby shirts and that actually might be cool.

so that's about all for now. i am looking forward to new shows starting this fall. i am hoping little people, big world is coming back. i already recorded the premiere of glee and am looking forward to that. also i think i'll probably check out community on nbc and of course 30 rock. i'm on the fence about the office so we'll see. i could about vomit jim and pam. also i was thinking cougar town might be good too.....WAIT, just kidding. there sure are a lot of nurse shows on now aren't there? like nurse jackie and hawthore and all that stuff? i watch legal dramas, NOT medical dramas so i won't be watching them but it's an interesting phenomenon. i am really glad we just ordered an external hard drive for our TIVO because we will be needing it!

zoos and more!

we went to the zoo today, it was awesome. there are 2 great zoos in the twin cities, one is huge and amazing and we are members there and then the other one is pretty cool but smaller and it's free to get in. we went to the smaller one today. neither zoo has elephants which is a major bummer, but the big one has so much shit it's unbelievable. it even has sharks! when you get to the zoo right when it opens it's so fun and relaxing because there aren't too many crowds, i think that's the best time to go. also the animals are way more active in the morning.

so in other news, i was looking at this photographer's blog where she took some pictures of my friend's newborn and i really liked the photos of my friend, the baby is cute. i think most newborns are hideous and look like old men with wrinkles. i know you can't usually see it when it's your baby, but most are ugly. anyway hers is not but what i wanted to talk about was some of the other photos on the site. there were a lot of ones where there were these pregnant women (like really pregnant, maybe like 8 months at least) and they were standing around draped in sheer fabric and stuff with their guts hanging out. also there were some with their other kids kissing their bellies. let me be clear: please shoot me in the head if i ever pose pregnant with my kid kissing my belly. thanks.

lastly i have been meaning to talk about this for some time..there is this local bank near where we live and they change the lettering beneath the sign like every day. you know, like how gas stations can write like the prices of gas and stuff? well in the midwest like every business has a sign where they can arrange the letters underneath it, it's really weird. anyway the point of this is that i hate this bank. this bank writes an inspirational message like every day and i just drive by it and i have to read the message and seriously like each day this bank out gays itself. like the other day said "if you throw dirt you lose ground." i'll keep you posted on some of the good ones, they are really really gay.

the fair and food network stars

so we went to the state fair today and we grubbed down! we had a belgian waffle on a stick, cheese curds, a fried twinkie, mini donuts, corndogs, fresh-squeezed lemonade, cotton candy (my favorite) and hamburgers. we restrained ourselves from getting the "bucket" of cookies. diet starts tomorrow!

speaking of food, who do you think is the best star on the food network? i like bobby flay a lot and i like the show throwdown but i am starting to think maybe guy fieri is the best star on that channel. diners, drive-ins and dives is a pretty sweet show and he seems pretty cool. also i think he works really hard. one thing i don't like, though, is how he wears his sunglasses on the back of his head. other than that though i would say he might be the best one. i hate giada and she acts so whorish. then there's paula deen who is insane. i think she would be ok except for her 2 sons who are total parasites off of her. i like her husband who is like 500 pounds and mumbles about donuts. that dude is going to die soon. i should talk though, the mini donuts we had at the fair were awesome. duff is a freak, he is nowhere near the best one. i almost forgot i like the neelys too and especially because a lot of it is about BBQ which is so good. who else is there? i don't like tyler florence that much because he thinks he is hot. so i guess i would say i like guy and bobby the best for now.

duggars again

*vomits*. the duggars are having another baby. seriously, it's not funny. this has become a mental illness and needs to be stopped. can we have the dept. of social services go in and sterilize her or what? she is not going to stop until either she can't get pregnant or maybe after a kid with down's syndrome. that stopped sarah palin. the duggars are like the worst right?

speaking of sarah palin, is levi now on dancing with the stars or what? i think he should be. i do see that tom delay is on it, though. i remember they tried to get cindy mccain and she was like "oh F no." tom delay looks like an ass on it, why do these people do these things? it's so stupid. i get kelly osbourne who has no talent and no prospects for anything...people like her just try to go from one reality show to another *coughs..omarosa* but tom delay, come on? and don't his eyes look really weird? what is going on there?

so i finally caught up with last week's jon & kate and let me tell you it was boring. the boys went on a ship or something and basically mady and cara acted like idiots and that was the end of it. i did read the latest people magazine article though where kate said she thinks jon has been abducted by aliens and that she feels like she is divorcing a 15 year old. i can see that. i wish the show would just focus more on them talking shit about eachother. that's way more interesting.

happy labor day!