Friday, July 24, 2009

badass animals

so we were at the brookfield zoo outside of chicago this week and i saw a lot of totally badass animals and it made me think about how many animals there are out there who are super badass. like for example i saw some bats and i was thinking about how freaky it is that they sleep upside down and that some of them eat like 600 mosquitoes an hour. that is super cool especially if you live in minnesota. think how many mosquitoes there would be without bats eating them up? after we left the bat exhibit i overheard a camp counselor telling this scared boy "don't worry, we can go in the bat exhibit, they won't hurt you. they aren't the kid of bats who eat people." um, which bats eat people exactly? anyway bats are super badass. also i think hawks are SUPER cool too, right? they are not only the top predators but the peregrine falcon is the fastest creature on earth and can fly at speeds of up to almost 300 mph. holy shit! they can strike another bird in a plunging dive and knock it unconscious in mid-air with a single blow! then as the victim falls down the hawk will circle back and grab it out of the air with its claws. falcons are so badass! owls are too. they are so cool because they can turn their heads around and also gulp down mice and then shit out mice balls with only the mouse fur and bones left! i disected one at zoo camp once.

one other animal i think is not so much badass as it is just scary and mean is the hippo. there were also some hippos at the zoo and they are scary as shit because not only are they mean but if you piss them off they will get out of the water and run after your ass at speeds of up to 20 mph on land! holy shit do not F with the hippos. or the tigers for that matter. SF zoo called...never taunt a tiger, it's just plain stupid. so anyway in conclusion there are many badass animals i have just cited a few here as examples.

4 comments:

  1. You're funny. :) I'm not sure you're trying to be, but it's amusing to me all the same.

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  2. thank u for the comment XOXOXO i totally found our "anybody nobody" thing we posted in the bathroom of dz the other day, i was DYING will have to show you.

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  3. Are you channeling Brian Fellowes?

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  4. you know what, i actually stopped watching SNL when it stopped being funny, however i did check out brian fellowes on youtube and it wasn't bad. tracy morgan is pretty hilarious. i think *he* is channeling me!

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